My Pain Is No One's Problem But My Own
by blacksyryn
Summary: The life of a shinobi is a harsh one. When the pain finally catches up, how does a person deal with it? A series of nonrelated oneshots. Warning: Oocness of stressed out characters rampant.
1. Background Music

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto…this is FANfiction

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**Sakura: **Fanfiction: noun; a story in which a writer creates a piece of work where the plot and execution thereof is the sole property of the writer. It is important to note that the writer of said story is not the owner of the environment, characters, or dogma/mythology of the world used.

**Ino: **Finished being a smart-assed brown noser, Forehead Girl?

**Sakura: **What'd you call me, Pig?

**All of the male characters of Naruto: **Chickfight! (pulls out popcorn and beer and starts with the munching)

**blacksyryn: **(sigh) My insomnia is still on…WHY CAN'T I SLEEP? And this time, it's not even the computer's fault…I turned it off for a whole twelve hours and still no sleep.

**Lee: **Ever try sleeping pills?

**Tenten: **I KNEW it! (points at Lee accusingly) You're on drugs! _That's _why you act the way you do!

**Lee: **AM NOT!

**Tenten: **ARE TOO!

**blacksyryn: **Are so…now let's get this thing going.

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**Background Music**

_"Nobody likes you  
__Everyone left you  
They're all out without you  
Having fun."_  
—_Letterbomb _by Green Day

The song blasted through the headphones resting on the boy's head, hiding underneath his shaggy brown hair. He sat on a bench on the roof of his old school and sighed. Leaning back he stared at the clouds and wondered what made them so appealing to certain people. But the thought didn't last more than the time it took to create it before it was dismissed by the boy who thought it in the first place.

Everyone had his or her quirks and ideas of what was worthwhile.

He was the last person who would judge another based on one quirk.

The boy leaned forward and placed his elbows on his knees. He linked his fingers together and let his hands hang limply below his bent head. His back hunched over and his eyes closed in contemplation. He was thinking about his place in the world and the life he chose to play in it.

He just got out of the hospital; a little introspection is only natural.

At least, that's what everyone kept telling him.

What everyone didn't know, is that he always was and always _will be _introspective. What else could he be when his only friends were his family, his teammates and one loudmouthed blonde idiot?

Of course, said idiot could befriend and change the heart of a cold-blooded killer in the space of one colossal fight, but that didn't give him any more points on his IQ card.

The song in his mp3 player switched to another, slower one, but the boy barely noticed. He was stuck in his thoughts now and the music he started now became part of the background noise in his life. It didn't exist for his enjoyment anymore. It simply existed; without purpose or meaning. Every now and then, a blast of drums or a guitar solo would gain his attention and remind him that the music was still playing. But for the most part, it was something he could ignore.

A bitter smile crossed his lips as he drew a parallel concerning his life and the music he wasn't paying any attention to.

"That's me," he sighed. "I'm background music. Easily forgotten and easily replaced, that is my role in life."

Songs played into his headphones and into his mind, but the words were gibberish. Everything blended together until it meant nothing. Finally, the last song ended. The peaceful quiet of the afternoon assaulted his ears and jarred him. He felt a presence next to him and another leaning against the ladder that led to the roof.

"Y'know, Chouji," Shikamaru said from his position next to the boy. "Even if you _are _background music, you're still a part of our lives."

"And we'd rather have you there than deal with the silence that not having you would leave," Ino whispered, staring at him with sad blue eyes.

"Besides," Shikamaru added. "You're _not _background music. You're our drum man. You keep us on track."

"You're our heartbeat, Chouji," Ino said.

Chouji stared at his best friends and gave a small smile. "Thanks guys," he said. "But even to me, that sounds like a load of crap."

"Oi, Chouji!" Shikamaru yelled as the other boy walked to the edge of the roof. Chouji turned around.

"I know what you're trying to do, but don't okay?" he said. "I'll deal with my pain in my way. It's my own. We're shinobi, pain's a way of life. I don't have to share this with you guys. Try to understand." They were surprised when he turned and pressed 'play' on his mp3 player once more.

Before they could do anything, Chouji was jumping from rooftop to rooftop, heading for who knows where. Shikamaru dropped his arm from where he raised it when the Akimichi left. Ino looked down at her sandals and frowned.

Ever since he got out of the hospital, he was a little different. But as he said, they were shinobi. What right did they have to bother him at this moment?

Chouji ran to his second "hideout" on the bottom lip of the Shodaime's face on the Hokage Mountain. He appreciated his teammates' efforts, but he just needed to be alone for a while. He knew he would rebound from this mood soon enough. It was a cycle he went through every few months, anyway.

Music blasted through his headphones and this time, he took extra care to listen to the song.

_"Nobody likes you  
Everyone left you  
They're all out without you  
Having fun."_


	2. Ghost

**Disclaimer: **All standard disclaimers apply. The author owns nothing.

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**Sasuke:** What? No amusingly crack filled filler?

**blacksyryn: **Shut it, chicken-butt.

**Naruto: **(whispering) What happened?

**Gaara: **She got her first "negative" review. I think she's taking it kinda hard.

**Naruto: **So that's why all of the sudden oneshots…

**blacksyryn: **No, the review was for one of the oneshots…I'm just sleep deprived.

**Naruto: **Sure.

**blacksyryn: **Shut it or I staple it.

**Lee: **blacksyryn apologizes for her moodiness. She usually isn't like this. Her insomnia has affected her emotions and her psyche.

**blacksyryn: **(slaps everyone with a large fly-swatter) I said shut it.

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**Ghost **

The bar was crowded tonight and the manager couldn't be more pleased. Although it was placed in the center of town, his establishment usually didn't get this packed. The town wasn't more than a rest stop for travelers headed for Konoha or a supply station for shinobi leaving said village. Since the Hidden Village was a week away from the town, it made sense. But every so often, he would get a letter that would result in his profits sky-rocketing for one night.

The money he made on those nights helped him keep his business open for months on end.

The letter always had one sentence on it. That's all, no signature or salutation. Just one sentence and it was always the same one.

"_I'll be there in three days so get ready."_

Now his patrons were three deep at the bar, every available seat (and a few male laps) occupied by warm bodies, and the dance floor was crowded. The die-hard regulars to these special nights fought their way to the front of the floor where a wooden stage stood. A microphone was already set up, along with a guitar amp and an ice blue Fender Strat.

Ghost was performing tonight.

She appeared like the apparition she was named for four years ago. Every now and then, she would return, but the dates were erratic. News of one of her performances always spread quickly and people always waited in anticipation for them. Since her first performance, she brought in crowds with her music. Men and women were entranced by the sound of her pain filled voice

No one knew the identity of the musician nicknamed "Ghost." Sure, everyone had theories, but no one was _certain. _The only things that were certain were the facts that she would:

1) Sing _at least_ one new song.

2) Accept any requests for songs she performed before.

3) Have copies of her performance for sale at the bar the next morning.

4) Refuse any and all invitations to have dinner/sex/drinks/sex/dates/sex/coffee with the patrons who asked her.

And…

5) Have white bandages wrapped around her head and over her eyes and forehead, the whole time.

The place quieted when the lithe woman walked confidently on stage despite the blindfold across her eyes. Tonight she wore black boots and fishnet tights under a short red schoolgirl-type skirt. A black, button-up silk blouse stretched across her large breasts and shown under the lights on the stage. A black wristband was on her right arm and had the kanji for "Ghost" on it. Her hands were ringless and no jewelry adorned her body. Her long dark hair moved with the seductive sway of her hips, but remained in the low ponytail she tied it in at the base of her neck.

She picked up the guitar, avoiding getting tangled in the cables, and stood in front of the microphone. Silence reigned as she started to play her guitar. Soon, the sorrowful sound of her voice filled the room.

_When you've had enough,  
__When you've got it bad enough  
__And you can't let go._

_When it comes to blows,  
__And you start to overflow,  
__But you can't get home._

_It's a subtle kind of cruel,  
__It taps my spine.  
__Here I'm drawing a line,  
__I'm asking please._

Tonight Ghost was in a mean mood. The regulars could tell by her opening song and the bite in her voice. There was bitterness there as well as pain and frustration.

_Don't you wanna be  
__Happy with me?  
__Don't you wanna be  
__Happy with me?_

_I'm afraid if you don't come around soon,  
__I'll turn sadder than you ever were,  
__And you'll learn loneliness is worse  
__You've gotta try._

People closed their eyes and began to sway on the dance floor. Even though the words were harsh and the melody haunting to the point of pain, Ghost was just that good a musician. When she played, people moved.

_December's all alone,  
__And he's calling me on the phone  
__But he sounds so cold._

_He says he loves me so  
__But how would I ever know?  
__Certain words grow old._

_It's a vicious kind of catch,  
__It sides me blind.  
__Now I'm out of my mind,  
__I wanna scream._

This time, when she reached the refrain, several people sang with her. It was a cacophony of emotion and a freeing experience for all involved.

_Don't you wanna be  
__Happy with me?  
__Don't you wanna be  
__Happy with me?_

_I'm afraid if you don't come around soon,  
__I'll turn sadder than you ever were,  
__And you'll learn loneliness is worse  
__You've gotta try._

A wry smirk found its way onto Ghost's face as she sang the bridge of the song. The regulars froze. Ghost almost never smiled. Yes, she was in a mean mood tonight.

_Love liked me long ago  
__It had a way of making everyone the same._

_But how the angels  
__Must laugh and sigh to hear me  
__Pleading with you,  
__And needing you this way._

_Oh why…?_

_Don't you wanna be  
__Happy with me?  
__Don't you wanna be  
__Happy with me?_

_I'm afraid if you don't come around soon,  
__I'll turn sadder than you ever were,  
__And you'll learn loneliness is worse  
__You've gotta try._

_To stay mine,  
__All the way._

Ghost sang the last part of the song into the microphone with a slight screech in her voice. The people close to the stage swore they saw tear stains appear on the bandages covering her eyes and closed their own orbs in sympathy. She was in agony. And she was _sharing _it with them.

_Don't you **wanna** be  
__**Happy** with me?  
__Don't you wanna **be  
**__Happy **with me?**_

_I'm afraid if you don't **come around soon,  
**__I'll **turn** sadder than **you ever were**!_

She ended the song and the last line reverberated in the minds of everyone present. She let out a shuddering breath and continued on with her set after a few minutes.

Two men stood at the bar, listening to her and opening their eyes to another side of the woman known as Ghost.

"Her pain is great," Lee said, looking down at his soda.

"It is her own," Neji answered, staring unseeingly into his own glass.

"At least now you can re-assure her father that she's not doing anything dangerous when she disappears."

The Hyuuga grunted and downed his shot of vodka. He gestured for another one and listened to the melodious voice of the songstress behind him.

_Hinata-sama…_


	3. We All Fall Down

**Disclaimer: **So not mine…Naruto I mean. Any songs I use in the story aren't mine either.

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**Naruto:** Ever notice how blacksyryn usually has songs or song lyrics in her stories?

**Sasuke: **(highlighting some text in a book) Yeah…and?

**Naruto: **Why does she do it?

**Sasuke: **Probably because she's not talented enough to pull out human emotion using her own words so she has to take them from songs and manipulate the reader into feeling what she wants them to feel.

**Naruto: **Umm…are you sure?

**Sasuke: **What else could it be?

**blacksyryn: **She could just like songs and music. Or maybe she thinks that a certain song fits a character or the mood of the story.

**Sasuke: **No. (highlights a random word in the book and looks it up in the dictionary he always keeps with him) I think it's the reason I gave.

**blacksyryn: **I'm too exhausted to argue with you.

**Naruto: **Then go to sleep.

**blacksyryn: **Shut it…I can't.

**Itachi: **I can put you to sleep.

**Sasuke: **Hi nii-chan. (doesn't look up from book)

**Naruto: **You're not going to try and kill him?

**Itachi: **He'll only fail.

**Sasuke: **Nii-chan's right. I can't yet.

**Itachi: **Why not? (intrigued)

**Sasuke: **I'm only on Chapter 4. (holds up book)

**Naruto: **(reads title) _So You Want To Kill Your Brother and Avenge Your Clan: 10 Ways to Get Strong Fast_

**Itachi: **Foolish, foolish brother.

**Lee: **blacksyryn would like to warn the readers that this story contains self-inflicted pain and mutilation.

**Naruto: **Why is it always _you _who gives warnings like that or comments directly to the readers?

**Lee: **I…don't…really know. Huh.

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We All Fall Down

Kiba kicked a few stones out of his way as he walked through the forest. Normally, he would be bounding through the trees and executing acrobatics worthy of a circus performer. Normally, his loud laughter would scare away the squirrels and rabbits that inhabited the woods around his home village. Normally, he would have his dog with him.

Akamaru couldn't walk and there was no one he could truly blame but himself.

The red marks on Kiba's face wrinkled as he frowned and bit his bottom lip.

_It's a long lonely road,  
__Where do I go?  
__Looking for some place  
__That feels like home._

He could blame Sasuke for running away or Sakura for crying the way she did or Naruto for being the stubborn bastard he is for wanting to go after him. Hell, Kiba could even blame his own mother for raising _him_ to be a stubborn bastard as well. But it didn't change the fact that he consciously used a jutsu he _knew _that Akamaru wasn't ready to use in battle yet.

That was his decision. So it was his fault.

_His_ fault.

_Been searching so long.  
Where did I go wrong?  
Maybe the answer  
Is somewhere beyond…_

The brown-haired teen fell to his knees in a small clearing and lowered his chin to his chest. His sister warned him that his partner was too small to use the _Garoga. _Akamaru barely managed to go through with the _Jinju Konbi Henge: Sotoro. _It was Kiba's will and determination that pushed the dog to complete the double-headed wolf transformation.

Akamaru never liked to let Kiba down.

So now the small white puppy was at his sister's house, watched over by her own dogs and recovering from having all of the muscles in his legs torn.

And it was all because Kiba wanted to use the Double Wolf Fang in battle.

_The stars  
__In the sky.  
__And who  
__Knows why?_

Sighing, the teen removed his jacket and revealed the barely healed wound he inflicted on himself during the long battle. He didn't wear a shirt under his jacket; the cloth rubbed against the scab and irritated him. Kiba didn't like to put up with things that irritated him. His hand passed over the packet of senbon he had strapped to his thigh.

People would be surprised to know that the Inuzuka knew how to handle the fine metal weapons. They required a subtlety many agreed Kiba did not possess. Shizune, Tsunade's assistant, caught him practicing one day and challenged him to a little contest. When everything was over, the medic gave Kiba a pat on the shoulder and said that he could give Genma a run for his money. The memory brought a small smile to his lips, but it was soon gone.

He wasn't here to smile.

_We all fall down.  
__Life is taking its toll  
__Yes, I'm outta control._

He pulled out one of the long, thin needles and stared at it. Sunlight glinted off of the metal and mesmerized the teen. It was sharp. It had to be if it was going to be an effective weapon. Kiba watched in a daze as his hand brought the finely honed point to his bicep. His eyes closed in bliss as it pierced his flesh and pain radiated from the spot where the needle imbedded itself.

He picked up two more senbon and carefully pushed them through the light colored flesh on his abdomen that marked where he stabbed himself with his own kunai during his battle with Sakon and Ukon. He was aware of his actions and made sure not to place the implements too deep into his wound. The senbon were thin enough that they wouldn't produce more than a circle-sized scab on his skin about half a centimeter thick.

_Yeah, we all fall down.  
__It's my dignity  
__That's saving me  
__Tonight._

No one would see the self-inflicted wounds. But if they did, it wouldn't look like anything but a scabbed over zit or something like that. An idea occurred to the teen and he grabbed a few more senbon.

_As I walk through this maze,  
__Is this just a phase?  
__Will all my tomorrows be this way?_

Using the senbon already in his arm as a reference point, he slid more and more of the deadly needles into his arm. He worked slowly. He wanted to make sure that the wounds would scar. That, and he was relishing the dull, throbbing the imbedded needles provided him. His eyes were half-closed in pleasure as he placed the last senbon into his now jerking arm.

_The night is so black  
__In front and in back.  
__Sometimes it's so dark  
__You don't know where you're at._

_Like the star  
__Way up high  
__Dropping out  
__Of the sky._

Kiba sat on his heels as he let his head snap back and he stared at the sunlight filtering from the tree branches above him. Blood from his wounds flowed weakly down his arm and provided him the only warmth he felt at the moment.

His mother didn't punish him for what he did to Akamaru, he realized. Instead, she ran her hand through his messy hair and muttered something about things happening in battle and on missions. She didn't know that he broke the first rule she gave him when she gifted him with the puppy.

"Some see _ninken _as tools," she told the young boy. "But they're more than that. Akamaru will be more than a ninja dog for you, Kiba. He will be your brother and you will be his. Never ask anything of him that you wouldn't ask of me or your sister."

"I'm sorry, kaa-san," Kiba cried as his arm twitched again. If he left the senbon in for more than five minutes, then he ran the risk of infection. But he wasn't done punishing himself just yet.

_We all fall down  
__Life is taking its toll  
__Yes, I'm outta control_

_Yeah, we all fall down  
__It's my dignity  
__That's saving me  
__Tonight_

He tore the senbon in his stomach out and reached up to do the same to the group in his arm. More blood flowed as the needles pulled free of his muscles. He quickly took a strip of cloth from his first aid kit and soaked it with the rubbing alcohol he kept in it.

He took the soaked linen and pressed it against his open wounds. He hissed in pain and blinding pleasure forced his eyes closed. He leaned back until his shoulders hit the dirt behind him and gave himself to the sensations coursing through him.

_Lift me up.  
__So I can see,  
__Outside of me,  
__And what could be  
__A different life_

_We all fall down…_

When the worst of it passed, he sat back up and wiped the bloody rag down his arm. He bandaged the new design competently and cleaned his weapons. Kiba's movements were automatic and concise. If his injured arm twitched a few times, he disregarded those instances and continued with his task.

When he stood up he decided he'd eat dinner with Naruto at Ichiraku's. If he went home now, his mother would smell the fresh blood on him before he even made it through the door. He left his jacket off and headed back for the village. The new bandage already had blood seeping through it, showing the design he created rather brilliantly.

Blazed in bloody red on his bicep was the symbol that was etched onto his forehead protector.

The symbol of the village he and his partner called home.

Konoha.


	4. That's Twice This Week

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing

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**Gaara:** Are you over your mood yet?

**blacksyryn: **No…but I had a cookie, so I'm hyper.

**Naruto: **You seem well rested though.

**Sakura: **Did you sleep? (crosses fingers)

**blacksyryn: **Does spacing out while listening to "Bohemian Rhapsody" count?

**Sakura: **Uh…no.

**Gaara and Naruto: **What's "Bohemian Rhapsody"?

**blacksyryn: **You're so lucky you're under my control. Go sit in the corner and don't speak for the next 17 minutes. (places headphones on their heads and presses 'play' on her mp3 player)

**Kakashi: **Y'know, you're gonna have to sleep sometime.

**blacksyryn: **Wanna bunk with me? (smiles evilly) I'm sure with you in my bed I'll sleep just fine…after…from exhaustion.

**Kakashi: **(backs away) Um…I think I'm late for something with a mission and a killing thing I have to do. Bye! (runs for his life)

**Sakura: **Wow, I would have thought he would jump at the chance…considering what a perv he is.

**blacksyryn: **Just you wait, Hatake…you're turn will come up. (more laughing and smiling with the evilness)

**15 minutes and 28 seconds later…**

**Gaara: **Queen fuckin' kicks ASS!

**Naruto: **Fuck yeah! Let's go get some guitars!

**Hinata: **Um…Naruto-kun…I could teach you to play…

**Naruto: **Hinata, you are _the BEST! _(hugs Hinata)

**Gaara: **blacksyryn, can I borrow all of your Queen CDs?

**blacksyryn: **Sure…scratch 'em and you're dead, though. People will find parts of you all over the place for years and years to come.

**Everyone: **O.o

**blacksyryn: **What? Queen fuckin' kicks ASS!

**Naruto: **They do.

**Hinata: **We should get on with the story. (red faced and loving it, cuz Naruto still hasn't let go)

**Lee: **blacksyryn would like to tell everyone that drinking heavily is not a good thing…no. In fact, it is a very bad thing. Alcohol won't solve your problems. Also, she doesn't mean to make fun of pop music or BNL. She thinks they rock, but for the sake of the story, she'll make fun of it.

**Sakura: **Why _do _you get stuck with the power to break the fourth wall? It's not fair.

**Shino: **I did it once…

**blacksyryn: **And never again for you. Lee-kun will be the only one with that power from now on.

**Sakura: **Lee…

**Shino: **Kun…

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**That's Twice This Week**

Loud music blasted through the Hyuuga household. Hiashi and Hanabi came in through a side door and found Hinata and her teammates, Inuzaka Kiba and Aburame Shino, outside the closed door of the room where the music was coming from. The words of the song were muffled thanks to the thick wood and soundproofing jutsu Hinata placed around the room.

But the music was so loud and the bass was pumped up so high that the vibrations traveled through the ground and into the blood of everyone within a 3-kilometer radius of the Hyuuga compound. It didn't help that that particular room had the latest, state-of-the-art sound system and speakers the size of Uzumaki Naruto.

Every three minutes, the song ended and five seconds of blessed silence occurred before the music started over again. From the feel of the beats and the rhythm of the music, the occupant of the room was playing the same song over and over again.

It wouldn't be so bad if the music was rock or punk. The Hyuuga could ignore that type of music. Even rap was preferable to the music playing right now. The bouncy sound of _popular music _made it's way through the corridors of the compound and caused more than one Hyuuga to begin tapping their feet and nodding their heads to the tune. Many disgruntled voices were caught murmuring, "Damn catchy-ass music."

It was nothing more than hell on earth.

"IS IT HIM AGAIN?" Hiashi shouted at his daughter.

"YES, TOU-SAN!" she shouted back.

"WHO THE HELL IS IN THERE?" Kiba asked. He finally noticed Hanabi's presence and blushed a bit. "BEGGING YOUR PARDON, HANABI-SAMA!"

_Kiba-kun is _looking _at me! _Hanabi thought to herself. She blushed as well and looked down at the ground. She barely kept herself from pressing her index fingers together the way she saw her sister do around Naruto.

"IT'S ALRIGHT, KIBA-SAN!" she yelled, trying to sound older than she was. "WHERE IS AKAMARU-KUN?"

"HOPEFULLY TEN KILOMETERS AWAY FROM HERE!" he shouted. "DOGS EARS ARE VERY SENSITIVE, Y'KNOW!"

"THERE'S NO HOPE FOR HIM!" Hiashi yelled, going through a series of seals. "ALL WE CAN DO IS WAIT FOR IT TO END!" He slammed his hand against his eldest daughter's barrier and reinforced it with his chakra. The sound lessened, but not by much.

_Hinata's getting better at creating barriers, _the Head of the Hyuuga Clan thought to himself.

Shino remained silent. He would not stoop to yelling, even if the mighty Hyuuga had. He just turned to his female teammate and raised an eyebrow.

"You don't have to know who's in there!" she yelled, albeit at a lesser volume than she had to use a minute ago.

"That makes it twice this week!" Hanabi said, shooting worried glances at the door. The added sound of someone singing to the music scared her as well as her sister and father. This wasn't a good sign.

"Let's get out of here!" Hiashi said, herding the children out of the house. "We'll return tomorrow."

"Where are we going?" Kiba asked.

It took the older man a second to think about it. "Let's go to an Onsen," he decided as quiet descended on the group. By Shino's calculations, they had five seconds before it started again. "We can rest our ears in the water."

Everyone nodded and hurried from the area.

**In the room…**

Hyuuga Neji popped the top of another can of beer and slurped noisily from it. He looked around the room with bleary eyes and wondered why he was there. He walked over to the door and tripped over a porcelain mask. He stared at the cat mask and frowned.

_Oh yeah, _he remembered. _I just failed a mission for ANBU. Again…_

Tsunade came close to ripping the long-haired Hyuuga a new one when he returned from his mission with the rest of his team needing immediate medical treatment.

"She says _I _need to consider their safety," he slurred into the quiet of the room. "'sTheir fault for not being as good 'sme…they're ANBU, they should take care o'them own selves…"

He knew, way, way, _way, _in the back of his mind that the Hokage was right. But dammit, he was a genius. He shouldn't have to shoulder their weight. Okay, maybe he felt a little bad that Naruto and the others got stabbed when he used _Kaiten _to block those kunai. He easily could have dodged the knives, but _Kaiten _was so much simpler.

It wasn't his fault that his teammates got turned into pincushions because of the deflected projectiles.

It wasn't.

Neji guzzled down the rest of the beer in an attempt to push down the guilt he felt, but it didn't work. He grabbed a half-full bottle of vodka and was about to drink out of the bottle when the song he forgot was playing looped once more.

"Aw!" he yelled, closing his eyes and snapping his head back. "I LOVE THIS SONG!" Neji took a swig of the vodka and chased it with a sip of flat cola and wiggled his hips to the happy beat. He began to sing along and knew that this would be the last time he would hear the song for a while. Neji knew his limits and he was quickly getting there. Blessed unconsciousness was just around the corner.

_Alcohol, my permanent accessory.  
__Alcohol, a party-time necessity.  
__Alcohol, alternative to feeling like yourself.  
__Oh, alcohol, I still drink to your health!_

_I love you more  
__Than I did the week before  
__I discovered alcohol._

Neji tried to sing and drink at the same time, but only succeeded in choking a bit. He decided to keep singing instead, since he LOVED this song.

_Forget the café Latte, screw the raspberry iced tea.  
__A Malibu and coke for you, a G&T for me.  
__Alcohol, your songs resolve  
__Like my life never will  
__When someone else is picking up the bill._

He wiggled his hips along with the music and recalled the scene he witnessed a month or two ago. _Hinata-sama's not the only one who can sing,_ he drunkenly smiled.

_I love you more  
__Than I did the week before  
I discovered alcohol._

_Oh, alcohol, would you please forgive me?  
__For while I cannot love myself,  
__I'll use something else._

The Hyuuga prodigy held the vodka bottle like a guitar and pretended to play it. Some of the precious liquid inside spilled onto the floor, but he was too far-gone to care. His voice rasped the next part as loud as he could.

I_ thought that alcohol was  
Just for those with nothing else to do!  
I thought that drinking  
Just to get drunk was a waste of precious booze!_

_But now I know that there's a time  
__And there's a place where I can choose,_  
_To walk the fine line between  
__Self-control and self-abuse!_

He dropped the bottle after drinking the rest of the vodka inside it and proceeded to play a mean air piano solo. He didn't bother singing the last refrain of the song, but simply mouthed the words.

_I love you more_  
_Than I did the week before  
__I discovered alcohol._

_Would you please ignore  
__That you found me on the floor  
__Trying on your camisole?_

_Oh, alcohol, would you please forgive me?  
__For while I cannot love myself  
__I'll use something else._

Neji brought a hand to his forehead and ended up poking himself in the eye. He fell back a few steps and landed diagonally onto his bed. His head turned to the side away from the window and the late afternoon sunlight coming through it. He whispered the last two lines of the song, seeing the figures of Naruto and the rest of his ANBU team in his mind's eye.

_Would you **please** forgive me?_

_Would you please **forgive me?**_

**The next morning…**

Hinata, Hiashi, and Hanabi walked up to their home and noticed the unusual quiet. Either Neji recovered incredibly quickly from his hangover or something happened to turn the insane music off. It turned out to be the latter when the trio entered the compound to find one extremely annoyed kitsune.

"Y'know," Naruto said, standing up from his position on the stairs. "You could save the village a whole bunch of trouble if you just pulled the circuit breaker to his room."

At the moment, father and daughters had the exact same thought: _Why the HELL didn't _we_ think of that?_

The three Hyuugas blushed and Naruto found out where Hinata gained her ability to become tomato red in two seconds flat. He chuckled and was about to leave when Hinata's voice stopped him.

"Ano…" she said, gesturing to the casts on his right arm and leg as well as the bandage running down the side of his left face. "What happened to you, Naruto-kun?"

The blonde laughed and shrugged it off. "Nothing," he answered. "Just a little trouble with a few dozen kunai."

He left the Hyuugas staring after him in wonder.


	5. Only Women Bleed

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto

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**blacksyryn:** Did you know some people consider spacing out going to sleep?

**Sasuke: **Yeah, only without the body getting any real rest.

**blacksyryn: **Shut it.

**Lee: **blacksyryn would like me to tell the readers that this story contains—um, do I have to say this?

**blacksyryn: **Absolutely.

**Lee: **(blushing) But—

**blacksyryn: **I wanna hear you say it and hold this as well. (hands something to Lee)

**Lee: **What? (recognizes object and immediately drops it) NO!

**blacksyryn: **Lee…

**Lee: **(sigh) blacksyryn would like me to tell the readers that this story contains a scene where—ahem!—two characters…um, have _relations._

**Naruto: **What are those?

**Lee: **(absolutely red) Um, two characters in this installment are _intimate._

**Kakashi: **Just say it Lee. blacksyryn won't let you start the story unless you do.

**Lee: **(eyes closed, fists clenched) Two characters have wild, unashamed sex in this chapter!

**blacksyryn: **Good boy.

**Naruto: **(picks up what Lee dropped) What's this? Candy?

**Everyone: **O.o

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**Only Women Bleed**

She felt his chakra long before he knocked on her door.

It wasn't that he was that easy to track—quite the opposite in fact. The man standing in front of her is considered by many as one of the best ninjas in Konoha. He was strong and knew how to use what talents he had—both in missions and in life. She could sense him because she was _that _in tuned to him. His thoughts, his feelings, his chakra…she knew him inside and out.

She knew what he needed.

That's why, when he came to her door—_every _time he came to her door—she simply opened her arms and let her ANBU into her soul. Tonight was no different.

The man staggered into the room, ignoring the frills and devices of a single woman living alone, and grabbed onto the only thing that could keep him sane. He felt her slender fingers reach up to his mask and pull the offending porcelain away. They both heard the sound of the mask cracking when she tossed it to the floor, but neither cared.

_Man's got woman to take his seed_

He buried his hands into her hair and urgently pressed his mouth against hers. Her mouth opened and his tongue entered. There was no battle for dominance in this kiss, in this relationship. She was his. Strong hands pulled at her hair, using it as a leash so that he could place her where he wanted her, _how _he wanted her. The kiss deepened and teeth were added into the mix when he brutally nipped at her full lips.

_He's got the power—oh…_

He could do anything and she would follow. In the dark, he was her god. She began taking his clothes off. Her hands were shaky with urgency and lust. She didn't need light or her eyes open to do the task. She knew her lover's body well. Pale fingers brushed over bandaged wounds and old scars. The feel of them turned her on, as did the contrast of her pale flesh against his hard body. She knew her lover's profession intimately.

_She's got the need._

After all, it was also _her_ chosen profession.

He was having more difficulty with her own garments than she did with his. Impatient as always, he ripped the nightgown off of her. Once the garment was gone, his body was pressed against hers and a ragged moan sounded through the apartment. Together, they made their way to her room, to her bed. Halfway there, she made a breathy sigh and the man froze. He tightened his hold on her silky hair and forced her to look at him. She looked up and saw pain and anger in his mesmerizing eyes.

"Don't make that sound," he ground out. "_They _made that sound tonight. Don't make that sound."

She didn't answer. She used her own strength to pull herself up his body. She wrapped her legs around his waist and kissed him urgently. He groaned and held her hips when he slid into her waiting body. Her neck arched in pleasure and her eyes shut. But she didn't make a sound. If he didn't want her to make a sound, then she wouldn't.

_She spends her life through, pleasing up her man.  
__She feeds him dinner or anything she can._

They stayed there, him standing and supporting her, connected. She was waiting for a sign from him. He was trying to push the faces that haunted him out of his mind. But one face in particular came out at him more often. His hands gripped his lover's hips until bruises formed, but she didn't move or make a sound. He whimpered and buried his face into the crook of her neck. Full lips pressed against his forehead and soothing hands ghosted over his shoulders and back. No words were said, no questions asked.

_This _is why he first went to her. _This _is why he kept coming back to her.

He raised his head and stared into her light colored eyes. He felt her breasts against his chest and her warmth around him. Lust clouded his features once more and he pushed urgently against her. She stared right back and dug her fingers into his shoulders. He could see the wooden edge of a picture frame behind her, but didn't stop moving.

Tears started to form in her eyes from the rough treatment and the feel of the hard wall behind her. But she didn't make a sound. She didn't break the gaze she had on him, even when the pleasure became so great that she couldn't help but shudder and gasp. He stilled and waited. Not once, did they break the connection their eyes held with each other.

Not one motion of her body or emotion in her eyes refused the man taking her. Fucking her. The woman inwardly cringed at the crass word. But she couldn't call this making love. For that to happen, there had to be love _there—_for both of them She didn't know how they got to this point. She knew when it started. When they started comforting each other with their bodies.

But she couldn't pinpoint the time when it became an obsession between them. For him, an addiction, a drug that held his demons at bay. For her, a need, a habit necessary to uphold her way of life. She knew that she was replaceable to him. A vessel to release his tension and frustration into when it became too much. But for her…

…_Only women bleed…_

He pushed away from the wall and strode to her bed. They fell onto it, still connected, still needing, still wanting. They writhed on the sheets, touching, scratching, _and using_ each other.

"This is the last time," he muttered, caressing the side of her body as he moved over her. "This _has _to be the last time."

_He lies right at you._

Again, she didn't say anything. Instead, she took his head in her hands and brought him down to her breasts. Another sigh caught in her throat when she felt his lips on her body. He always said that. It didn't matter how many times they joined their bodies, how many years they spent hiding their relationship, how deep he was in her when he said it, or how many nights he arrived at her door, bloody and needing her warmth, he _always _said that.

But just as he always stated the same thing, she always knew that he'd be back. After the next mission, he'd be back. And the one after that and the one after that. As long as the man in her arms took missions, he'd be back in her embrace, in _her,_ once his job was done.

_You know you hate this game._

She closed her eyes and held onto the golden locks under her fingers. His pace increased and the pleasure multiplied. She felt him throb inside her and knew when he recovered he'd be gone and she'd be alone. She looked at him in surprise when he only began to move and grind against her once more. She placed a cold hand on his cheek, tracing the whisker marks there, and spoke for the first time.

"Naruto?" she gasped.

The man stared down at the woman under him as he continued to move and run his hands down her delectable body. Pale hair fanned over dark pillows and soft skin slid against his tanned body. He gripped her head in his hands and gazed into the soft, light colored eyes before him. He kissed her mouth and plundered. She was his.

Not Sasuke's or any other shinobi's.

She was _his._

Even if he didn't want her anymore, she was his.

It was only after he felt her body tense twice more and he groaned out his own pleasure that he stood up next to the bed and looked down at the exhausted kunoichi on it.

"This _is _the last time," he whispered, harshly. Pale eyes blinked at him blankly. He knew she didn't believe him. He barely believed himself. His lover of eight years brought her knees up to her chest and watched him as he dressed in the spare clothes she kept for him. He couldn't escape the weight of the light colored orbs on him and turned around.

"I've asked Hinata to marry me."

His lover visibly jerked in surprise. Her hair fell into her face as she leaned her chin on her knees. "I know you'll make her happy," she said softly.

He heard the second part of her sentence—even if she didn't say it out loud.

"_I just hope she'll make _you _happy."_

Naruto glanced back at the naked woman sitting in her bed and memorized the sight of the moonlight over her smooth flesh. He left the room and she let the tears fall from her eyes.

_I don't love him,_ she told herself, almost believing it. She could lie to herself about that, but not about this: she would miss him. Even though they only had stolen hours together, she would miss the absence of those hours.

_Only women bleed._

Naruto's sharp ears heard the sounds of her soft sobs even through the walls that separated them. His eyes filled with pain and sympathy, but they both knew the rules of their game. They could care for each other, but they couldn't _love._

He kissed his fingers and placed his palm on the closed apartment door.

"Goodbye…Ino-chan."


End file.
